tdy got eng exam. piece of cake. but the literature one abit x.x. the summary was a big mess cos half way through i finished my refill n i realised i wrote the whole summary wrongly x.x so i have to use my pen to scribble scribble all over it.

tdy lower sec n upper sec recess at the same time ^^. but then...my retard-ness caused me to panic. >< mi saw ZEUSS.

i hate jane tan. she suddenly had a 'relapse ' tdy. we were toking, sitting around in the classroom when she suddenly walk in and started barking at us like a mad dog she is. i mean, she cannot tell us properly to put our bags at the front n straighten our desk instead of barking n growling at us. she dun shout for one day will die ah? unfortunately yes. -.-

oh ya, tdy, the 6.45 am de 162 bus was 15 mins late, like wtf. i specifically brought a watch to see if i or was the bus late ytd, cos ytd i sit at the busstop until damn long. the sun rising alrdy but the bus wasnt thr so i anyhow take one, dunno 52 or 410 bus ytd to sch.

it rained again, lucky this time got 162 so i can take bus to one stop later so i can walk under direct shelter all the way home ^^. not only was the bus late, my tuition tcher was late tdy too. i was reached home tdy damn early ah, i even got time to play com before he come.

lollipop....i wan...lolli..pop... 2 weeks without it. x.x im dyingg...no CPR thank u.

Labels: hyperr

tdy guess wat mr vasu ask us to do? a MOTHER'S day card -.- kns.

i saw zeus 4 times tdy in a very unexpected way. so unexpected that when i noe i cant like change my route or go another way. omg. cos i no training nowadays i gained like 2 kg!!!!!! im 40 kg !!! noooooooooooooooo. i shall control myself from now on. but noe exercise oso no use. wthh. dammit. thx to mr vasu's video i found a new song. slipped away - Avril Lavigne.

ytd the first homework i finished was mr peterson's compo and suay suay tdy i nvr bring. i almost nid to copy 5 times word to word of the new compo i write on the spot. lucky got frens back up. hmm...this song...reminds me of the sad moments last time. im remembered how sad i was. my first time crying for someone? like woah o.o . that song fits how i was like las time. i like find songs that is like my present mood. and amazing usually im able to find one. but that i cant seem to find one that fits. now i found it. abit too late le bah...or maybe not. now i keep playing that song. it reminds me so much bout the past. i wish i can split into two and give myself a comforting hug. haha. thats silly.

i dunno y but im somehow easily affected by how ppl feel. like i see this person happy, i oso happy with them ( most of the time ). then i see someone sad i oso have a change of mood. soo contagious. my earpiece spoilt, cant listen to mp3 anymore. T.T i wan ipod nanoooo. i wan the red one

Labels: the day u slipped away was the day i found it wont be the same

if i can for one day dun feel sad for even awhile the earth will stop moving for awhile. singapore will start snowing

my earpiece spoillllll T.T . i nid to get a new oneee. tdy...uhhh. k i think up of a new nickname ^^ . tdy i took the flight of stairs tht is behind the water cooler thr. forgot tht ZEUS was sitting thr. till i reach the last step then it suddenly struck me. like ' SHIT! '. then xx n lx all walk in front liao. then i freeze at thr. i shouted ' XIU XIA >< !!! ' then i use my eyes to like signal her is zeus still thr. she no nid ans anything. she orh only i noe liao. then im like shit. i want to count 1...2...3 then run. i count until 3 then nvm...forget it. jus walk like normal.

sometimes...i ponder...its very difficult for someone to b as happy as me if such a thing happen to them. i think thts on the outside. inside thr are many things going on in me. my emotions all camoufladge by tht one smile i adopt. i can b angry. i can b sad. i can b jealous. i can me envious. i can b heartbroken but my face will look the same. the smile will always stay. u ppl dunno wat is going on in me. u dunt noe how i feel at times. only i noe it myself cos i have hidden them all. i noe its not gd for my mental health to keep everything to myself. but i think its better for other ppl. sometimes i do try to tok to ppl. tht person whom is great in listening will b victor. thank u very much. and rmb to b nice to genevieve. when ppl dun understand this part of me they may get angry sometimes. when im supposed to b sad tht smile will still appear. then ppl will b like ' walao. shes not sad at all lor. walao so cold blooded @#$%&*@#$&*@$# ' and all that. its ok if ppl are to think like that of me. cant blame them for not noeing me enough. in fact sometimes it could b tht i didnt tell them bout me resulting in them not noeing that im like that, which ever, its ok. if it really matters then. blame me for not letting u to understand more bout me. blogs are another great listener. u can express urself here and it will not go away. whenever u nid it. jus type blogger.com, it will b thr for u. some ppl has a short life. some ppl have a longer one. whichever it is. dun wait till the person is gone then u start regretting all the shit u had done. thrs no point crying over spilt milk. no matter how much tears u shedd for it, it wont come back. and time is not reversible nor is it stoppable. it will keep going and going, it wont wait for u. so................................................................................................................................................................

STOP WASTING TIME. tell the ppl u love tht u love them.

Labels: frozen tears

in DnT lesson now. secretly using com. hope mr wong dun catch >< . now thrs like this great mess n lots of misunderstanding over who i like. some ppl think i like pink bagpack. some think i like joel. some think i like victor. ok. among the 3 ppl. thrs only 1 that is correct. if u lucky then i told u the correct one. if u suay. then too bad. ah wat the heck. y u all suddenly ask me bout this? i wan to go back to las time when no one cared bout it. no one noes bout it. anw now oso no one noe. lol

i getting very blur now...got probs with DnT. i dunno how to dooooo >
k. i noe how to do liao ^^. yayyyy. ok abit prob...nvm ask fren...k done.
shit lah 2nd one dunno how to do T.T i hate DnT... but in sec sec 3 i dropping art. i wan take POA n DnT/FnN

haiz...i dunno how to doooooooo

one word. siannn. i dunno y im sian. like so distracted tdy. wasnt concentrating on anything tdy i suppose. nth to blog bout lehh....hmmm....oso nth to tok bout. oso cannot use my *code liao. its been found out O: then thts like the key to wat i blogged bout in the past. shit. i nid to b smarter. uhhh im causing some confusions here n thr. lol. victor is sooo confuse now i think. haha ps. i'll explain? being too nice is no gd. haha tht comes from experiences i had. i can read my own palm thx to teenage mag. now i found out tht ' im a emotional n sensative person' wow really? i not sure lei. slack all through the weekends. nth to do de. i wanna go outttt. now the main entertaintment is my ds. this com i using now is my aunt de. aft this post. after i offline . after i off the com i cant on it anymore. my aunt got put password de. so secretive.lol. im gonna hack it!!! lol. jk jk. cant de. impossible one. feel like sleeping ~.~ zzzzz... today im yuki O: i tried yo go on like i nvr knew uuu....so sleepy...zzzz

2nd post for the day cuz down thr that post is bout wat happen on mon n tues. wa lao i...!!!! nth to say... T.T not nth to sayy... is got thing but cannot sayy. all i can to myself is. its ok...its ok. heartbroken? stupid mah. anyhow use the internet. see until things u dun want to. cant help it. haha? force this out for once...ahem...HAHAHAHHAHAAH its ok. nth de lah. hahahahhahahha. dun ask me -.-. *bangs wall. : ) : hurts hurts >< its ok its ok. i'll b fine. dun bother bout me : ) : . walao like 3 days nvr go sch nia so manyy things can happen. ahh lifes like this. uh hah...thts the way it is...chill out wat'cha yelling for? lay back, its all been done before. and if, u could only let it be...wat u want, life wont b easy. ok lah tok so much. just face it n relax cos i cant do anything. n if i made a commotion out of it. still nth will. it'll only make it worst. so shut up. keep it to urself...eh no. myself. lol. epic. failed.

ahhhhh i nvr post for soooooo many days.
ok start from mon lah cos the weekends nth de.

monday. C-division indiviual. me in it ^^
fighted with NYGH, catherine cai. she looks like yolande hahah.
she keep do low arm but not one sucess on me, i stood straight
i oso wanna do low arm on her but i nvr bend low enough T.T
me n her the mind same one.lol.
' hajimeh ' i grab her right collar. she grab my right collar.
i try to cut of her hand. she oso try to cut off my hand.
then she osoto me then i fall slanted. yuko.
i dunno y. in sch i fall on my full back on the mat.
in competition i act like as if the mat got fire. i turn to face front very quickly.
weird.
so much stuff like almost sliding on the mat...bla bla bla. i lost
but mr ho n mr sulaiman said it was a gd match.
mr ho i fighted the best among all the sec 1 gals o.o. really? omg.

then repecharge. walkover. so i got bronze.
not really happy. i didnt win cos i was strong.

tuesday. B n A division indiviual.
go thr support support. joel. yshmaeil. jonas. su wei got into the finals.
yayyy. nooo dewi go home so early i mus continue write down the bout list thing for her
7 plus then leave hougang. T.T

Today. finals n awards dunno wat thingy.
jonas n yshmaeil got silver. gd job ^^
joel n suwei champion ^^ GOOOOOOD JOBBB.
c division the sec 1 de. me n xx got 2 medals.
crisel n lx got 1 medal.
first time in my life getting 2 medals at once.
the indiviual one i feel abit not happy.
if that maggie got come i dun think i will be one with the medal.
the 2nd medal is team event de ( las week )
then mr yeo treat all the judokas in the competition to seoul garden ^^
joel. zhi heng. benny they all eat until damn disgusting ><
but very creative ahhh. omelette.
me. yanfeng. yolande n yshmaeil table the cleanest.
other ppl eat until like...eeeeee. dunno how explain.
so like that lor. full until i no nid eat dinner liao
tdy i ate one meal only. O:

this blog is not dead. its cos my ds is dead. n i no time use com for the las 3 days.
so long nvr see....ehhhh....cannot ah. cannot write down. my code has been found out. sryy.
hahahahahhahahahah >:D

Labels: i see a haloooooooo

tdy omgzgggg. pink-backpack quarrel with tcher :O this one oso is tcher fault lah. cant blame him. before maths lesson. stand outside awhile, waste time waste time. ehhhh....is that who i think that is...? later after maths lesson. saw YAN FENGGGGGG. she followed me down one flight of stairs ^^ then stop cos down another stairs got this BIGGGG crowd. like wtf. is cos of above. shocking. practically nid to squeeze down the stairs cos my nxt lesson is on ground floor x.x afterthat. after sch got supplementry. fuck. ooo the gals thr including me failed with flying colours on the recent class test. i scored 1/22. no joke. xx scored 2/22. even got ppl score 0/22. tht one seriously is the pro of pros. other gals score 3, 4, 5, all single digits. honestly, i have nvr seen such a big n so many 0s before. lunchtime got the shock of my life. n after that i realised that pink-backpack has got powerful eyesight? my eyesight like kns. cant even see a carplate properly from the 2nd storey. 9840 become 9345? when did my eyesight become so bad? ooo tdy during judo lx specs kena stepped on, snapped into 2 n still not enough. still got the lense break cos is frameless de i think. :O the dangers of judo. LOL. jk jk. judo is safe. if u kena injured is mostly cos u were not careful or ur opponent is a basterd. but dun always blame other ppl. u see? all the times i've been injured i always tell ppl 'no lah. not judo's fault is i not careful/i nvr do it properly.' tht time shenne gave me a fucking big impact on my stomach until i cant move. i still dun blame her. its cos i was weak. infact, if she was in a competition n she did that, she actually did a great job. shit. tok abt that. i nxt week got another competition. n this time, i MUS fight. its indiviual de. i will either b competiting against AES or NYGH. they r both damn pro schs. u noe wats the only diff? for AES i have 60% of losing. while for NYGH i have 70% of losing. wtff. lose le lah. die liao lahh.

although i had a competition tdy but i nvr fight. im suwei's reserve. lucky... but then i nxt week still nid fight indiviual one. x.x. i saw 2 opponents. both from nan yang. 1 look like yolanda. LOL.everybody laughed their asses out. the 2nd one which was crisel's opponent had the same hairstyle as her. this one less ppl laugh. only yolanda n a few laugh. lol. but u mus see the yolanda-look-a-like one, damn funny sia. yolanda say ' waa. so agressive...' then i say 'ya. like u' then kaylyn ( is that the correct spelling?) add in ' ya lor. like u.' then we doubled up laughing. even mr sulaiman say look like yolanda. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ooo ate abit of shayne's snacks tdy >< later tmr nid give him some of mine.lol. tmr is B division fighting but i oso mus go.tdy rocked i think. skipped DnT ^^ n mr petetson's CDT. i totally no nid bring anything. before i boarded the sch bus to hou gang start getting nervous liao. tok tok tok. in less than a second reach liao. then just step out of the bus everybody look. look wat look? u noe like awkward? i made it a point to stick to yan feng. later aft sch dunno how to go home then die.lol.turned out that i dun nid fight. WOOOOO! reserved. lx oso. she like disappointed ah. crazy. i no nid fight i like so happy sia. u think competition really tht easy to win? yan feng get bronze leh helloooo. ok lah even zhi hao get bronze. so i will get paper medals, meaning low chance of winning. if against nan yang gals ah that means gone case liao. cfm lose. got that yolanda n crisel look-a-like gal. i dun dare eat anything sia. in the end take weight : 38.2kg. like WTF. 1 kg gone from las night. anw. tmr can skip 2 hrs of maths ^^ so happii. haha.

empty...spaces...left in my heart. i feel so...idk. dunno how to explain. siannnn nid chinese tuition T.T yyy i fail chinese??? is a tuition tcher even allowed to scold u in UR HOUSE when just cos shes the chinese HOD in her fucking stupid sch. her sch somemore is lan sch -.- yusof ishak sec sch. so wat if shes my mom's close fren. that doesnt give her the rights to scold me. n when i las had tuition with her, i just started studying in bishan park sec. i just learnt the 1st n 2ndd chapt of chinese, she ask me do the back back of the chinese book. i got a few wrong nia she scold me -.-. crazy. this phrase from yanfeng shld b given to her, is not i score badly or anything, is ur expectation too high! oh ya tmr my birthday ^^ i wannn the new ipod nano. red de!!! i guess no one reading this can afford it.lol. i trying to beg my father for it lols. nxt mon at 10.50am got judo competition x.x die. no confident. i scared of the opponent. i scared the opponent very fierce n rough. plsss dun let it b a guy . cos cfm cant win. nvr tried winning a guy before. i ...zzz...cough med so drowsy de... tdy my fone flat. cant find charger. now then found it. lucky...i nid change for my display pic.but i no pic. someonee take pics with me. eeee i dun like to take pics. aiya see first lah. emptyyyy...soo cold. hoodie.sweater. still not able to warm me. ...so sleepy. k, i go sleep. ornot later i drop my ds cos i fall asleep by playing with it.

Labels: empty is the word

y is thr selfish-ness in everybody? idk. ytd planing to ton but decided that i may b too tired for tdy so slept at 1 am instead. then my fuking cough wake me up at 3 am. cough until like im gonna die. then finally slept at 4 am i think. then woke up at 5.50. _l_ . slept for that pathetic 2 hrs only. went too sch and first time i tired until cannot tah han. reach le, slept in the canteen till lights off. went up to hall then lie against this pillar beside me. slept again. go to 1 lesson, maths class, slept again. tcher woke me up 5 times but on the 5th time he stop waking me up and i had quite a gd rest. but this whole day dunno y. see all this ppl around feel a little bek chek. mood abit not gd ah. i see everyone oso angry. but nvm. atleast see yanfeng no anger. i mean really. like see until my whole class ppl i feel damn damn damn bek chek. oh. ear piece still with kimberly. lucky tdy 9.15am onwards no lesson. health-screening all the way. i see the wall beside the health screening black black de. vent abit anger. kick kick kick ( anw it doesnt make a diff to the color right? ) the dunno y daphne oso go kick the wall bio tcher saw then start her nagging -.- then i pretend no hear then she call my name. shit. turn to face her and when she open her mouth i sayyy all the crap she wanna say ' yes tcher i noe its vandalism. its illegal. this is sch property. u can sue me watever. ' tcher diam. then say ' if u noe then y do u wan to do this? ' i paused then she say ' for fun ah? ' i nodd and say ' yeah ' nth say then took down me n daphne name. -.- was wondering y daphne suddenly so quiet.


i wanna ask again. y is thr selfish-ness in everyone? y mus because u dun-like-not-u-dun-wan-then i mus ' k. fine. u dun like then ok lah. stop. ' y ? isit cos im small-sized or because i let u walk all over me too much that when u jus say ' is not i dun wan is i dun like ' then u noe i will stop???? fuck it k. u dun like it thats ur prob i dun care if its ur property or watever crap. love ur family? then fuck off to hell with them. cos i dun care if u love them cos i hate them. guess u dunno wat it feels like to have a dead mom and a guai lan father that wants u to tok to them properly but fail to do the same. its damn irritating k, this time i cant communicate with my father is cause he doesnt wan to tok properly to me. giving me that stupid tone that always come with a fight and MUST end with him saying i think im reasonable but im not when i didnt even fucking say a word to him when he say that crap. he wat? got smoke think i dunno. i oso suspect he got gf le. say wat go malaysia. go to hell with ur bitch and ur stupid kent or mild seven cigs cos eventhough i hate winston it generally smell better than U. msg keep ask me how spell this how to spell that when i say ' i help u msg so it will b faster. ' u say u dun wan. how suspicious can that get huh? u think im born ytd? -.- i may have failed 3 main subs atleast i tried my best. but u were not fucking thr. u r out n abt with ur fone n ur smelly cig. lie oso dunno how to think first. dumb. but tell u wat. if u gonna bring that bitch home n tell us wat a great mom she will b to us then sry. i rather be parentless than with u n ur bitch.

in the newspaper say i cry like shit? no. im not gonna break down. and noe wat? i didnt. cant trust news. they r craps.

shittt my voice sound so great now that it is almost similar to a broken recorder. in other words, i lost my voice. T.T hear me sing. do ray mi fah so lah ti doeee. ur ear will bleed.anw. my chinese hor. kns. fail. E8 sia. i think its cause of my lack of speaking chinese. tmr onwards i shall turn chinaaa. hello ni hao? wo shi yuki chau. ni ye ke yi jiao wo zhou hai lin. qing duo duo zhi jiao ^^ . other than that mus read chinese story books oso. i dun get it. is english really that difficult? y so many ppl either fail or get C6??? my sis is one of them. she get C6. i english no study or revise de. only do the h.w only. get A1^^ haiz but is low A1. i get 76 T.T. tmr onwards. dun ask me y. JUST ANS IN CHINESE!!! if u dunno y then the ans is above. if u still duno that means ur bah qiu pah stamp. open up ur tiny/big eyes at read carefully from the top.

tdy i actually got napfa de. but i skip. for the sake of judo. i'll go for the absentees. :P omg thurs got injection :O ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! i scareddd. i scared pain. :'(

im having cough now...omg. i dunno how i get it. mus b from victor through the fone. LOL. joke joke. but then...haiz...my cough now became a sore throat because i cough too much and it injured my throat. dammit. i hate sorethroats. first aid!!!! lozengers. oh i happen to finished it a long time ago n havent refill. arghh...i rather have coughs that have me coughing blood than have this bloody sore throat T.T arghh. i so bored. my voice sounds abit funny now i think? oh shit. is thr some homemade remedy??? i nid it now... i hate sorethroatttt!!!! T.T

shitt!!! i screwed up - again. on msn - again. fuck. im gonna delete my msn acc someday. stupid. so bek chek. nxt nxt mon competition coming. i nid coaching. everytime plan during the weekends stuff to teach me. then either at sat or sun. something happen. ignore me. weekdays finally come then nvr teach me. -.- i no time to waste le. 4 days of training left. i cant sit thr and do nth. i have to do something. i have to train.

anw. i finally got fone le. i have 2. the first fone my father gimme say cannot use to msg. -.- then i bought another fone for msging. lan fone. cost $30. its for msging only. nth one. now my fone no money. nid buy another top up card. dammit. i face finacial crisis k. my wallet no money. shitttttt. fuckkkkk. time rewind pls. rewind 5 mins ago can le. cos it all last for 5 min. fuck. i sibei bek chek now. fucking bored. dun wan stay in grandma house. dun say anything to PROVOKE ME. not even sarcasm. sarcasm make me feel twitchy. i nid ice cream but its fatteninggg. frens. they either piss me off or they walk away. disappoint me and stuff. alls left. YANFENG. im gonna stick to no guy. aiyaaaa yanfeng not online. shit. arghhh...how to vent ur anger at home? thrs no way. damn it. no one teach me judo le. nvm lah. i lose this time is to get experience.