this is the 2nd post of the day as ive got many things to pour. ok back to the last thing tht i say. becos victor is gen's n his having his o'lvls i felt tht i shldnt b bothering bout him incase thrs some conflict or misunderstanding. i wont tell whose the 2nd person. anw i think i lost tht person. so after losing tht 2nd person, ive been bottling everything in me. all the things i wanted to cry abt n all the things tht i wanted to throw a tantrum abt. i kept them all in me n i didnt cry, nor did i threw a tantrum. i barely gave a sad or unhappy face. i just...gave it a smile. :DDD. n i noe its not doing any gd to my mental health but ... i still cant tok to anyone abt it cuz, i cant find another person tht is mature enough n warm/friendly enough to tok to. those last 2 person were the ones tht made me feel welcome whenever i call them or tok to them. i often either feel tht im disturbing them or tht im just annoying/irritating when i keep toking to them. then thrs another group of ppl in my heart tht i wouldnt want to tok to bout this kind of thing is cos i dun want them to worry bout me n i want them to noe n believe tht im always happy. those were the few ppl tht i love n NOE THT THEY LOVE ME TOO ( those exclude my family members.lol. ) sometimes i just feel so stress when i have this 1% of fren tht keeps complaining bout stuff ABT ME TO ME.i wanted to treat tht 1% of fren well but who wouldnt feel buay song when someone keeps saying stuff bout u? n when u ask them ' cant stop saying tht im all tht? ' they would give a fucking excuse tht ISNT HELPING AT ALL. they'd say ' im just saying ~ ' like as if they r very right when NO, THEY R JUST PISSING U OFF AT THE MOMENT. tht 1% of fren always think tht they r right n when i had a quarrel with them they will say until like as if im in the wrong like tht. tht basket 1% of fren is not helping this friendship by pissing me off n especially when i find my temper getting alittle short nowadays. dunno y.