i.wan.happy.
i.wan.happy.
i.wan.happy.

i.wan.like.last.time.like.time.like.tht
ppl.call.me.crazy
thought.i.crazy
haha..

haizz...walao.very...difficult.sia
nvm.i'll.be.alright...right?
hahas

used.to.lie.to.myself
when.things.get.me.down
or.when...ur*.the.reason.for.me.to.b.sad
i.will.tell.myself,
or.rather,lie.to.myself.tht.
yf.will.b.thr.
then.i.like.this.crazy.person
i.keep.tell.myself
'yf.will.b.thr.yf.will.b.thr
yf.will.b.thr...'
then.i.like.try.to.chill
take.a.deep.breath
keep.telling.myself.tht.until
i.forgot.bout.the.thing
ornot.till.i.got.tired.n.fell.asleep.
hahas...
now...i.dunno.how.to.lie.myself
for.once.i.cant.convince.myself
cuz...
i.noe.shes.busy
even.if.she.not,still...
she.wont.b.thr.anymore
now.onwards
wat.i.do.oso...
seriously.seriously
no.one's.gonna...
how.say?
gonna...be.thr?
no.not.tht...
nvm.
ytd.cannot.sleep
so.i.read.in.the.dark.again
then.father.suddenly.come.into.my.room
confiscate.my.book.n.niam-ed
after.tht.i.like.crazy.like.tht
the.thoughts.like.bullet.train.like.tht
keep.rushing.into.my.head
i.found.myself.mumbling.to.myself
i.keep.say
'no.ones.gonna.b.thr,
no.ones.gonna.b.thr...'
seriously.i.like.mad.like.tht
hahas

wait...wat.sia?
i.wan.happy.haha
k.umm...
tdy.nth.much
promoted.to.2e.le
haha.good.lah
blah...
nth.le.
went.amk.after.sch
awhile.only
then.go.back
reach.home.
fell.asleep.on.the.sofa
till.6pm.haha

Labels: its.getting.harder.to.smile.when.all.i.felt.was.pain

tdy.i.go.sch.then.realise.got.judo
-.-.no.one.tell.me
haiz...ya.ya
y.i.this.admin.vice.dunno?
ya.ya.
lousy.admin.vice
watever.

blehx.tdy.mr.ho.first.one.to.pick
is.me.to.randori.with.yolande
:(.dunno.how.to.win.her.
i.lousyyy
then.dunno.y.mr.ho.wan
me.fight.with.jonas
flyyyy~~

y.m.i.so.paranoid
toking.to.attached.frens
like.i.cant.seem.to.fully
believe.tht.is.the.real.person
i.think.is.cuz.a.few.couples
have.each.other's.acc
which.is.dangerous
if.u.noe.wat.i.mean
especially.when.it.comes.to
easily.jealous.girlfriends.
so.i.will.b.very.cautious
incase.really.happen.to.b
easily.jealous.girlfriend
then.cause.misunderstanding
which.i.find.it.very.dumb.
its.like,c'mon.lah.
its.ur.guy.afterall
dunt.u.have.tht.faith.in.him
tht.ur.the.only.one.in.his.heart?
u.have.ur.guyfriends.too.
who.cares.if.u.rarely.tok.to.them
still.got.tok.right?
ok.i.got.try.before.
once
the.girl.dunno.tht.i.noe.is.her
haha.

haizz...find.myself.very.lousyy
i.wan.go.bang.wallllll
boredzxc
dunno.wat.to.post
dunno.wat.to.say
dunno.how.to.describe.wat.im.feeling.now
haha...
im.trying.to.b.strong
but.it.gets.harder.everytime
haha.
just.gonna.walk.through.it
if.i.trip.just.gonna.pick.myself.up
i.wanna.b.strong
i.wanna.see.my.rainbow
but.then.will.i.ever?
dunno.
maybe.until.the.sky.starts.falling
hahaa.

im.thinking...
this.wed.mr.lin
tok.a.bunch.of.crap.to.me
the.only.thing.i.rmb
was.tht.he.say
i.changed.during.sept?
wat.happen.to.me?
did.i.really.change?
i.changed.into.wat?
hahas.
if.is.sept.change.
must.be.something.happen
during.august...
i.dun.rmb...
or.is.it.i.dun.wan.to.rmb
ok.let.see...
phrenz.carnival..
O.O.okk...just.saw.my.old.post
ALOT.OF.THING
thr.were.mixed.feelings
of.confusion,regrets...
negative.n.positive.yuki.appeared?
ya,thts.confusion.
and.then.a.sudden.feeling.of.numbness?
ok.i.seriously.dun.rmb.much.of.these.
letme.see.sept.de
thr.were.days.tht.i.couldnt.sleep.
i.was.freaking.angry.with.someone.
i.was.fed.up.with.myself
n.a.bunch.of.stupid.ppl
then.somewhr.in.the.middle
i.was.freaking.freaking.happy
tht.happiness.just.died.out
sometimes.i.think
all.those.happiness.were
illusions?
like.something.fake?
nvm.back.to.it
was.very.angry.with.sherlin.chau
n.my.father
...
k.i.almost.hit.a.guy
then.when.sept.ending
sudden.loneliness.set.into.me
slowly.slowly.become
insecure?
soo
THTS.WHEN.I.START.TO.FEEL.INSECURE!!!
ok.ok.ok
i.figure.abit.thing
k.let.me.somemore
then.last.two.days
or.last.two.post.of.sept
suddenly.get.worried
oct.coming.
yf.graduating
so.i.had.my.feelings.all.mixed.up
i.felt.happy,sad,insecure
then.a.sudden.rush.or.anxietyyy
oooo.
starting.to.get.abit.clear
i.was.feeling.insecure
confidence.n.self.esteem.dropped
plus.slight.peer.pressure
from.tht.stupid.bunch.of.ppl
urged.me.to.change
...
seriously
sometimes.i.think.im.manic.depressive
its.whr
1.week.im.freaking.happy
nxt.week.im.freaking.depressed
n.also.thr.times.whr.tht.person
dun.noe.themself.
i.think.quite.like.me?
hahas...
then.oct.come
this.month.like.shit
dun.even.have.a.happy.post
-.-haizz...hahas.

i.think.i.got.my.ans.le
but.i.not.very.sure.is.right
i.changed.somewhr.sept
is.cos.of.multiple.feelings.compressed.tgt
plus.a.slight.peer.pressure
which.made.me.change
then.somewhr.at.the.end.of.sept
because.of.loneliness
i.began.to.think.of.changes.in.life
n.how.much.i.dun.wan
happy.times.to.go
i.start.to.get.insecure
then.cuz.of.the.compression.of.feelings
n.peer.pressure.
it.caused.my.confidence.n.self-esteem.to.drop
when.those.important.things.drop
it.oso.caused.further.changes.in.myself
omgggg...
someone.tell.me.im.wrong.
cos.this.kind.of.thing.i.noe
but.dunno.wat.to.do.to.reverse.them
hahas...

but.then.still.got.abit.thing.i.still.dunno
i.noe.the.cause.of.change.le
but...when.i.change
i.change.into.wat?
tht.one.must.really.ask.other.ppl
cos.when.u.change
u.dun.noe.it.

Labels: i.noe.le.but...wat.can.i.do?

just.got.scolded.by.father
-.-get.scolded.until.like.shit
he.reminded.tht.i.got.no.one
i.seriously.have.no.one
my.mom.moved.on
my.father.is.always.at.work
sis.bo.chap.me.i.oso.dun.like.her
aunties.all.this.all.love.my.sis.more

yuki.chau.bu.yao.ku.le.
xiao.yi.ge:)

hahas...i.really.dun.have.anyone.sia..
atleast.my.sis.got.my.aunt
she.got.these.gd.frens.tht
stayed.by.her.since.she.sec1.till.now
me?i.got.nth.
all.i.have.is.this.smile:)
i.really.dunno.i.can.take.this.le.lor
but.even.if.i.really.cannot.tahan.one,day
just.run.out.of.the.house
who.so.gd.to.keep.me?
obviously.no.one
human.really.cant.live.without.love.n.care
thr.will.b.a.day.when.they.nid.
a.shoulder.to.cry.on
a.listening.ear
and.someone.to.understand.
me?hahas...:)
yes.i.can.find.a.shoulder.to.cry
find.someone.to.tok.to.me
ask.for.advice
but.noone.ever.stays
guess.they.got.more.important.thing.to.do
got.other.ppl.waiting.for.their.care
they.wan.give.their
real.care.to.someone.important.to.them
n.im.just.not.important.to.anyone.
i.dunno.wat.to.do
i.scared.if.this.goes.on
i.will...dunno...
i.dunno.wat.will.happen.to.me...
i.alrdy.too.bottle-up.le
i.finding.it.hard.to.keep.things.nowadays
so.many.things.kept.in.me
no.space.in.my.mind.
in.my.heart.le
my.anger.alrdy.starting.to.getting.out.of.control
sometimes.le
i.dunno.wat.happen.to.me
just.suddenly.like.tht

but.i.wan.pour.out
can.go.whr.pour.sia?
by.the.time.i.can.find.someone
or.something.alrdy.too.late.the
tht.pain.or.watever.kept.in.me
alrdy...'dissolved'
so.wats.the.point?

atleast.ppl.got.fone
got.anything.24hrs.can.call.ppl
me.i.dun.have.fone
i.dun.have.anyone.to.call
i.now.dun.wan.disturb.jonas
he.n.joel.like...dunno
still.very.hotheaded?
dun.wan.bother.them
so.like.at.the.moment.
nothing.n.no.one

aiya...just...if.got.anyone.reading?
dun.think.have
just.dun.affected.by.this.post
all.bullshit.:)

so.long.nvr.post.le><
fuck.SA2s
tdy.hist.tired.till.i.write.until.half
fall.asleep.LOL?
i.didnt.even.realise.
last.50min.i.woke.up.n.finish.everything
:P.this.is.call.pro.haha

hope.yf.like.the.book.i.gave.her

haiz...lol.suddenly.realise.
nowadays.i.go.out.like.keep.see.couple.lei
follow.jana.n.i.like.dian.den.pao
just.now.sis.ask.me.go.meet.her.at.j8
then.she.with.her.bf
dian.den.pao.again.-.-
lol.dun.care.lah.
tiredd.scared.i.sleep.le.atnight.
cannot.sleep.
oh...whrs.my.yf?
nvr.online
just.now.i.keep.think.she.online.
lol.then.keep.click.her.name
but.come.out.is.offline.LOLS?

tmr.MATHS.paper2.x.x
die.
suddenly.no.mood.to.study
suddenly.feel.like.so....out.of.breath?
like.cannot.breath.like.tht
feel.like.lying.on.a.hammock
at.somewhr.like.a.backyard
then.breathe.in.fresh.air
n.just.rest.or.sleep
suddenly.like.so.sian
wats.wrong.with.me?
everyday.at.home
dun.quarrel.with.father.or.sis
for.one.day.is.impossible
i.oso.dunno.wtf.they.wan
then.like.now.like.tht
i.dun.even.feel.like.going.home
or.staying.in.the.house
wats.the.point?
go.home.n.get.scolded.for.everything?
get.a.life.
i.noe.u.care.ah
but.nid.scold.me.till.so.fucked.up.meh?
u.say.u.can.dun.stay.at.home
can.go.out.de
can.dun.care.me.de
THEN.DO.IT.LAH?
WAT.YOU.WAITING.FOR?
CHRISTMAS?
smlj?wan.do.then.say
dun.say.until.like
u.dun.care.me.i.will.die.like.tht

ok...m.i.feeling.stressed.or.just.bek.chek?
both.bahh
haha.feel.like.staying.in.a.daze.like.just.now
just.now.while.waiting.for.bus
i.daydreaming.
thinking.of.impossible.thing.lol
i.got.a.vivid.imagination:P
wait...if.i.noe.its.impossible
y.m.i.still.hanging.on?
i.fall.too.deep.le
dunno.how.to.get.out...
hahas

we.nid.both.sunshine.n.rainfall
for.a.rainbow
hope.i.can.see.tht.rainbow.soon?
cuz.i.hanging.on.for.very.long.le

xi.wang.neng.can.dao.cheng.guo:)