i feel fucking... miserable now.
n i dunno how to express the feeling.
i wan to .. cry. i wan to da ku.
i wanna cry n scream out all the pain.. but cant.
i cant cry. no tear.
xiang ku que mei you yan lei.
i feel like someone sitting on top of me now.

kay. went through my old posts n scraps of paper i whr i wrote down my pain just now.
EVERYTHING flooded back into my memory.
all i can say is fuck this year.
i dunno lah. this feeling sux.
i dun even noe wat to say now.
i keep wonder how the eff i express my feelings last yr
i now seriously nothing to say. all i noe is...pain luh.
like being burnt like tht. like someoe break ur rib like tht.
the thing about injuring ur ribcage is,
on the outside it looks perfectly fine,
i bet even einstein cant see wats wrong just like tht.
but the truth is every breath u take hurts, no it burns.
i wish i can just dissolve into thin air.
then when the wind blows everything will just go on n disappear with it.
the pain, the everything.
but..it doesnt work like tht.
they say time heals everything.
yeah right. is tht the reason y time is passing so slowly nowadays?
wth. tdy in sch, 5 min like 1 hr like tht.
i dun wan n dun feel like laughing along with my frens in sch.
but i dun ppl to noe wat im feeling now
i oso dun wan them to ask y.
its fucking stupid. i noe.
laughing hurts nowadays.
its like u're trying to write properly with a sprained wrist.
like u're trying to do push up with a broken collar bone.
kyu grade coming.. i think i can just go n die already liao.
cfm cannot win one
then mr ho gonna suan me, ask y i nvr gold medal.
then all fuckers gonna suan somemore n say ' aiyo, last yr champion y now like tht? '
-.- lame. u think i mr sul ah? can win everyone.
i nvr tyco last yr
but i oso can say tht i get gold is cuz got ppl teach me.
is cuz the opponents r not very strong tht day.
being a champion is easy, maintaining tht standard is 10 times harder.

aiya... just watch me die...

lol. last time got important person no.1 n 2
now i think i just lost both in one shot.
feels like im being crushed at the rib, cant breathe. haha..
like someone throw me too hard then kena impact like tht
i cant breathe n it hurts at the same time.
lol im being stupid.
feel so alone nowadays
whr r u?
whr r both of u?
tdy i cant pay attention in class.
this sux. i suck. everything sux. fml.
didnt see u for damn freaking freaking long.. fml
whr r u ? whr r u? WHR R U?
to important person no. 1 : guess im just not the shiny new toy anymore..
haiz.. not like i can do anything bout it..
im tired. gonna take a nap..Z

' pretty pretty please, dunt u ever ever feel, like u're less than, fuckin' perfect. pretty pretty please, if u ever ever feel, like u're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me.. ' u were to me, but i wasn't n never was to u.. all i can say to myself now is, i tried. i waited. n i didnt regret it. infact, u shld nvr regret wat u did cuz it was once wat u wanted. well, at least thts wat i think..

trying to forget someone u love is like trying to rmb someone u dun noe. its hard..haha
everytime u thought u alrdy forget about tht person,
when u see tht person again, it feels like ur hearts being burnt.
it sux but its oso not tht u dun wan to see tht person anymore...
aiya, its just as hard to explain. lol..

好，我决定忘了你
this is hopeless
i try too hard n im wasting time
i noe wats impossible
but u're still gonna b a gd fren of mine
i wont abandon u
我累了。。。

so long no post
but like as if it matters to anyone

lifes been...idk. i off mood for damn long.
i havent been feeling any emotion for damn long
but i think im going mental
sometimes lah...
someone told me ' eeyeer..sekaly u got depression '
i thought of it for awhile then say
' lol i whr will have depression? '
then i got this ans
' why wont? ppl tht have depression wont say tht they have'
i start to paranoid
cuz ive been kind'a anti-social nowadays
i spent the whole march hol
alone in a room watching tv
only when i hungry then i leave my room.
even then i nvr even tok to anyone
._. thr is something wrong with me.
my appetite oso abit weird weird.
i like keep on no appetite..
haha siao siao
wont de lah.

anwww,
i so bored nowadays
i wan go gai gai.
but no one wants to go out
-.- stupid ppl
some kind'a frens they are.
stupid nerdds!!!
go out oso will die.
feel like skipping sch :/
SIAOOOO. nahh.

我妈妈说只有坏孩子才会逃学:D