i feel fucking... miserable now.
n i dunno how to express the feeling.
i wan to .. cry. i wan to da ku.
i wanna cry n scream out all the pain.. but cant.
i cant cry. no tear.
xiang ku que mei you yan lei.
i feel like someone sitting on top of me now.

kay. went through my old posts n scraps of paper i whr i wrote down my pain just now.
EVERYTHING flooded back into my memory.
all i can say is fuck this year.
i dunno lah. this feeling sux.
i dun even noe wat to say now.
i keep wonder how the eff i express my feelings last yr
i now seriously nothing to say. all i noe is...pain luh.
like being burnt like tht. like someoe break ur rib like tht.
the thing about injuring ur ribcage is,
on the outside it looks perfectly fine,
i bet even einstein cant see wats wrong just like tht.
but the truth is every breath u take hurts, no it burns.
i wish i can just dissolve into thin air.
then when the wind blows everything will just go on n disappear with it.
the pain, the everything.
but..it doesnt work like tht.
they say time heals everything.
yeah right. is tht the reason y time is passing so slowly nowadays?
wth. tdy in sch, 5 min like 1 hr like tht.
i dun wan n dun feel like laughing along with my frens in sch.
but i dun ppl to noe wat im feeling now
i oso dun wan them to ask y.
its fucking stupid. i noe.
laughing hurts nowadays.
its like u're trying to write properly with a sprained wrist.
like u're trying to do push up with a broken collar bone.
kyu grade coming.. i think i can just go n die already liao.
cfm cannot win one
then mr ho gonna suan me, ask y i nvr gold medal.
then all fuckers gonna suan somemore n say ' aiyo, last yr champion y now like tht? '
-.- lame. u think i mr sul ah? can win everyone.
i nvr tyco last yr
but i oso can say tht i get gold is cuz got ppl teach me.
is cuz the opponents r not very strong tht day.
being a champion is easy, maintaining tht standard is 10 times harder.

aiya... just watch me die...